<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Source of Happiness by pratins</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268445">The Source of Happiness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pratins/pseuds/pratins'>pratins</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>season 15 inspired [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester (mentioned) - Freeform, Dirty Dreams, Dreamhunter, Episode: s15e11 The Gamblers, Episode: s15e12 Galaxy Brain, F/F, M/M, PWP, Season 15, Smut, dean struggling with bisexuality</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:28:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,428</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pratins/pseuds/pratins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Claire was on her way back home when she finally saw her: Kaia. She was there, as if nothing had ever happened. Claire was ready to find her happiness. Dean's truth is torturing him, forcing him to finally face who he really is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Pax, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>season 15 inspired [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610134</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Source of Happiness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a short coda I wanted to write after watching last week episode.</p>
<p>I want to thank ao3 user trixxter for being my beta once again. Hope you can enjoy it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Claire never really wanted to be subjected to the rules given by adults, but now, since she was almost 22 years old, she finally gained the independence she had always fought for. That morning, while she was coming back home, after a hunt, she saw Kaia, her Kaia, in the driveway of their home. Claire had to bat her eyes a few times before realizing Kaia was really there and she wasn’t a figment of her imagination.</p>
<p>The kiss was heated, sentimental, and passionate as a kiss between two teens should be. Kaia was finally at home, and Claire would do the best she could to not lose her again. Everything was fine, she was finally happy. A home, friends, love, good hunting skills. She had been living her whole live on the edge of despair, but everything was turning into the right direction eventually.</p>
<p>Claire held Kaia’s hand while walking into their house. Before Kaia’s apparent death, the girls didn’t have a lot of time to spend together. But they knew they loved each other. Youth holds this power, you immediately understand when you’re in love, struck by a lightning. When I saw Cassie for the first time, I already knew I was deeply in love with her, the same thing happened with Lee, even though it had been harder to admit it to myself, probably I have never did it completely. It’s said that people fall in love three times during their lives, that’s true.</p>
<p>Claire asked Jody what had happened, and she smiled, listening to the story of Kaia’s rescue. When Jody finished, Claire immediately exclaimed that she wanted to visit us to show her gratitude. Jody said that there was no need to do that, also we were busy with our fight against God.</p>
<p>I’m glad Claire ignored Jody’s rules that time, she left for the bunker in the middle of the night, after reassuring Kaia, with a big amount of kisses, that she would be back in three days.</p>
<p>————————————————————————————————————————————</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was happy to have Jack back in the bunker, I truly was. Watching him at home was nice and, in addition, knowing that he and Billie had a plan to trap Chuck once for all was reassuring, even if I couldn’t stop thinking about the possible consequences and timelines Sam had seen in the future. On the other side, looking at Jack smiling next to me was a little bit frustrating. Every time I looked at him, my mind immediately went to the day he was on his knees, in front of me, with a gun between his eyes. In that year I had changed a lot, I didn’t blame him or Cas for my mother’s death anymore. But I just couldn’t forget Jack’s eyes when I was holding my gun, and that’s why I spent most of my time inside my bedroom.</p>
<p>Loneliness brings overthinking, I was used to getting lost in thoughts since I was a child, but with age, the weight on my shoulders was bigger and bigger. Billie had been clear, Sam and I were meant to be the ones who would end Chuck’s story. We had to put an end to someone who created everything. Death was on our side.</p>
<p>The idea of losing this war was frightening me. Sam told me what he saw in the future, and I would never want to see Castiel going crazy, suffering because of the Mark of Cain, and, eventually, locking him down, miles under the sea, inside a box. That would have broken me, into a thousand pieces, I couldn’t lose Castiel, he was important. Never. And that would have broken Cas too, the day he would have stopped hearing my prayers, the day he would have realized I was dead, this time forever. End of the story.</p>
<p>I was tired. While Claire was driving to Lebanon as fast as possible, I, slowly, closed my eyes and let myself slip into Morhpeus’ strong arms.</p>
<p>————————————————————————————————————————————</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once he walked in, I immediately recognised his perfectly squared jaw and his wonderful piercing blue eyes. Pax, the demigod, Fortuna’s son. He walked until he reaching the rail, looking for us with his damned eyes. He was wearing the same t-shirt he had worn in Alaska a few days before, highlighting his defined muscles that I just couldn’t stop looking at. I felt a chill down my spine, as I did the first time I saw him in his mother’s pub.<br/>Male’s body made me feel weird. I haven’t touched one in a while, after Lee my encounters with men had been rarer and rarer. the guilt caused by what happened with Lee developed my rejection of this part of me, and, growing up, I learned how to control my instincts when I saw that type of men I had always liked. But in the last months don’t express my feelings was really difficult. My feeling towards Castiel were powered by the fear of losing him and Pax’s hotness didn’t help me for sure.</p>
<p>It’s not real, Dean. I knew it wasn’t real. We had left Pax behind, in that pub in Alaska. It was a dream, but it felt as if it was reality.<br/>My name is Dean Winchester. I am an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, frisky women and…</p>
<p>You know, you have always known, it’s always been there, for forty-one years. You have known it since you were a teen and you always tried to deny it, you denied it while Lee was fucking you in that motel room, you denied it while you were complimenting Ash at the Roadhouse, and you keep denying it every time your angel looks into your eyes, that he is next to you, supporting you. Find your freedom, Dean, or you’re going to explode.</p>
<p>… and men.</p>
<p>“Son of a bitch,” I said, before starting to kiss Pax. My hands were on his broad shoulders, while I was feeling his lips kissing mine. I missed the flavour of men’s lips, feeling their beard scratching my skin.</p>
<p>He put his hands on my chest, before aggressively pushing me on the bed. In a moment he was above me. I looked at him while he was touching my skin under the shirt. My back arched every time he touched me because of his cold hands. He started kissing my neck.</p>
<p>The feeling of his tongue against my neck made me moan, and slowly he started to leave my neck for my chest, my abdomen… After he took my shirt off, he grabbed my wrists and held them above my head, pressing them into the bed, not letting me move. My boner was hurting inside my jeans, pressing and pulsing, asking for more.</p>
<p>He undid the buttons of my jeans with his teeth and released my wrists for a moment only to slide my pants down. He seized the moment to took his shirt off. His muscles were defined, I had to bite my lip not to moan.<br/>“You’re a good boy, Dean. Aren’t you?” He probably said it as a joke, but I didn’t laugh. I really wanted to be his good boy, I wanted him to own me. He kissed my lips again and, by habit, I put my hands behind his head, pulling him against him. We kept kissing while he was putting a pillow under my hips, opening my legs slowly, in order to easily reach my hole whenever he wanted to. He put his hand on my cock, and my hand on his and we started to jerk one another off.<br/>We were going at the same rhythm, slow but firm.<br/>His lips were still on mine while our cocks rubbed one another. I moaned against his lips.</p>
<p>Then he left my lips for the tip of my cock, pressing his tongue on it, before putting my erection inside his mouth, greedily sucking it. But that didn’t last a lot, he licked my boner, then my balls, my taint, until he reached my hole.</p>
<p>“Be my good boy, Dean,” the demigod said, turning his gaze towards me. I started looking into his blue eyes. Blue like the sea on a beautiful spring day, hit by the sea but not yet hot enough to swim. Blue eyes that could have made me cum only with a glance. Blue eyes as Cas’s ones.</p>
<p>Castiel. Castiel. Castiel. My wonderful angel. If only you could have known my dreams, I’ve always wondered what would have happened if I had called you in my sleep. You would have known I was dreaming about you. Castiel. Castiel.</p>
<p>His hands all over my body, he was owning me. He slid a finger inside me, then another one, widening me slowly. He was able to overwhelm me, keep me under his control. He whispered in my ears how much he loved me, I was his boy, his hole, he wanted me hard, for him and for him only. His fingers were moving fast inside me, but, a few seconds later, his cock replaced them.</p>
<p>In that moment I felt complete. My angel was inside me, inside me, I was his, he owned me. I was fine while he was fucking me, holding my shoulders with his hands. He never stopped looking into my eyes.</p>
<p>“Come for me, Dean,” he kept saying, while hitting my spot.<br/>“Come for me, come for me.” My moans were loud, I wanted Cas to keep fucking me until I would cum on my stomach, saying I was his boy.</p>
<p>I felt it coming, that magnificent pleasure that overwhelms your body, making you scream.</p>
<p>“C-cas!”</p>
<p>I opened my eyes.</p>
<p>————————————————————————————————————————————</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My dream had no intention to get out of my mind. Everywhere I turned my eyes, I kept seeing Pax, or worse, Castiel. I tossed and turned on my bed, trying to cast these thoughts out.</p>
<p>Someone knocked at the door.</p>
<p>“Dean? Come here, we have a guest.” I recognised the voice: Castiel. Meeting Castiel wasn’t what I needed in that moment, it would have made the dream come back to my mind. But maybe I would solve this problem by not thinking about it, we forget our dreams, right?</p>
<p>I stood up, putting on a flannel shirt, and got out of my room, reaching the main one. Castiel’s eyes where on me when I entered the room. After a few seconds I noticed a girl with blonde hair who, in front of Sam and Cas, was talking continuously.</p>
<p>She was beautiful as she was the last time I’ve seen her. Her gaze was more mature though, as it’s normal for young adults in their early twenties. The problems of teens are behind their back, and they are slowly getting ready to face obstacles way bigger than gone bad jokes or break ups.</p>
<p>“Hi, Claire!” I said, smiling at her. The girl got closer to hug me. “Hi Dean, you look older.”</p>
<p>————————————————————————————————————————————</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We definitely had to think about God, but Claire’s presence in the bunker was giving us the possibility to relax a little bit before the big finale. Sam prepared a grand dinner, and I couldn’t do anything apart from being happy. During dinner, Claire kept talking, showing us her gratitude for saving Kaia.</p>
<p>“I really believed she was dead, when I saw her… holy fucking hell,” she looked at Cas, “no offense.”</p>
<p>Castiel rolled his eyes, “None taken.”</p>
<p>In the last eleven years, Cas had learnt a lot about humans, our expressions, our life, habits and feelings. He had slowly learnt how to be one of us, how to feel like one of us. I knew I had been an important part of the humanitazion of Cas and I was happy to be that.</p>
<p>“And yeah… Kaia and I are together…” Claire admitted, eventually.</p>
<p>Castiel put a hand on Claire’s wrist and smiled at her. “I’m happy that you found your reason to be happy.” Sam, Jack and I said that we were happy too.</p>
<p>“It’s weird how humans completely misinterpreted the words of God. And I’m not talking about the fact that he is a son of bitch with a Winchester kink, but about love… you know,” I said before biting my lip, in embarrassment.</p>
<p>Castiel turned his gaze towards me. “Since the beginning, humanity did whatever they wanted with God’s word, using it to control the society to create a world made up for rich people.”</p>
<p>“Making them suffer too,” I added.</p>
<p>“Humans have never been that clever.”</p>
<p>I raised an eyebrow and smiled. “You angels neither.”</p>
<p>“Before this becomes a stupid argument between two children, I want to remind you that Claire is here and she won’t stay for a long time, so let’s focus on her,” Sam said, frustrated by the flirting argument Cas and I were going to have.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, you were saying…?” I said.</p>
<p>“Well… I really like her, a lot, and seeing her again made me happy. It’s beautiful when you realise that the person you’ve always looked for is in front of you, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“For sure,” I said.</p>
<p>“So why are you alone?” Claire… oh Claire… always Claire.</p>
<p>“You know nothing about me, kid, you were born yesterday.”</p>
<p>“Maybe, but if there is something that I’ve learned is that it’s always better when we confess our feelings.”</p>
<p>“It’s not always that easy. Lots of times there are other factors.”</p>
<p>“You make up the ‘other factors’ in your mind, you deny yourself happiness because you’re scared. Going for it helps, you should know, Dean.”</p>
<p>I nodded, but I knew nothing actually, or maybe I knew too much. Claire’s mind was full of fairy tales, I remember that age, twenty. No angels or demons, only some ghosts and werewolves. Cassie, Lee, the good old days. Everything is easier when you’re twenty.</p>
<p>Growing up, life changes, fast. It’s easier in some ways but more difficult in others. And I was known to make my life more difficult with my own hands. Claire didn’t know that.</p>
<p>If it was true that there was a chance for Chuck to win, my life was almost over. Only a few months left before the unavoidable.</p>
<p>I had to hurry up, and I was slowly starting to understand that. I was scared, most of the time, but time was running.</p>
<p>I had to let myself be happy.</p>
<p>Claire came back home. She was living a happily ever after. Maybe Claire finally got rid of the curse of the Winchesters. She could build a happy life for herself.</p>
<p>Claire’s happiness gave me hope.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>